let me tell you about jacki carr.
no wait. I can sum it all up in one word: fierce.
this is a girl who tackles her life like the giant mountains she loves to climb. she powerfully and vulnerably goes full steam ahead, holding hands with everyone she meets so they can join her on this crazy ride of life. it’s rare to meet someone that looks you in the eye, leans in, and tells you the truth you need to hear so honestly that it makes you jump up and change your path. this girl does that.
and seeing as though jacki sparked me to face my (tough) emotions within the first 10 minutes of our first skype chat ever… she is definitely the gal to share with you about chakra two.
read her story below, or scroll to the bottom to check out jacki’s coaching programs and retreats. I might see you there.
I remember as a kid loving the movie, A League of Their Own. Tom Hanks played Coach Jimmy Dugan, Dottie (Geena Davis) and Kit were the sisters on the Rockford Peaches team and who could forget Marla Hooch? I played every sport imaginable growing up with most summers spent on softball fields in the Houston, TEXAS suburbs and my super Dad as the Coach. Good times.
So do you remember the part in the movie where Tom Hanks claims, “There’s no crying in baseball”? He basically has a freak out over it and reminds all the players to hide their feelings on the playing field. (Watch it HERE).
Well, I listened to Coach Jimmy and in my youth, I totally did because it resonated with me. Rewind in time: Here I was at say age 12 or 13, thick bangs, thick glasses, growing into my two (oversized) front teeth, hairy arms and a true perfectionist wannabe. I was a super softie by nature, I literally cried at the drop of a hat. I got a ‘B’ on a test, immediate tears. Someone said something mean or pointed out said hairy arms, run to the bathroom and cry. Struck out at my turn to bat, cried. My Mom starts to cry, I cried, too. A super sensitive human, I was actually made fun of for the excess of tears streaking down my kid face. Often.
So, I stopped.
I decided to stop crying.
And I did. The wells in the corner of my eyelids dried up.
In my chakra knowledge these days, I totally stopped the spinning energetic wheel of Chakra numero 2. The sacral chakra is the house of emotions, pleasure, sexuality and passion. This energy house resides in the lower abdomen in the physical body and relates with the color orange. I worked really hard in my youth to suppress the emotions that made me cry. Add on growing up with a twinge of Catholic guilt and I was pretty primed for this course of action. Thus, I tried to play a hand in controlling my feelings and well, stop feeling all together. (NOTE: Operative word here being ‘tried. I truly failed often.).
Anodea Judith wrote in her brilliant book, Eastern Body, Western Mind that “Without passion and pleasure, our lives blur into senseless sameness, our feelings dulled behind the daily subroutines of expected behavior” (p. 106).
Wow, senseless sameness.
How boring. How lifeless. What was I thinking playing the suppression game with my emotions all those years?
In my ‘adult’ life, yes I use air quotes as I find ‘adult’ to be a fluid term, I have been in the process of opening and unraveling the tight lockdown I placed on my sacral chakra. I mean, I have really gone for it. I bought an all shades of orange dreamcatcher this year in Sayulita, MEXICO. I saw a healer who once who told me I am like a carbonated coke bottle and when you shake me up my emotions will literally explode because I keep them bottled up so tight. Yes, that is what they said and so I release the coke bottle of emotions more often. I read a lot of books on vulnerability and self-development, I probably watch the Brene Brown Ted Talk on the Power of Vulnerability every season. And I have family and friends that embrace the sensitive side of me when I allow myself to truly unravel the patterns.
I believe I have become more conscious of the feelings and the desire to feel more. And on the flipside, I am conscious of when I am living old patterns and throwing up the ‘stop all feelings’ sign. It feels constricted, everywhere. And knowing those triggers, I can choose to shift, to open up.
And wow, I cry all of the time.
Emotional floodgates now open.
And to be real, I realized that crying is not a symbol of weakness where people will make fun of me. That was a huge a-ha moment. Did you hear that Tom Hanks/Coach Jimmy? I am going to cry as much as I want to in this game of life. Because I realize now that life is about feeling it all, craving experiences that move me to tears, and being way more human. Letting people see all of me. Life is about being alive, not running into the bathroom to hide your aliveness. Ever.
Feel it all.
Even if it makes other people super uncomfortable. I dare you to be joyful, be sad, be sexual, be passionate. Be you. What happens when we suppress one emotion is we start to suppress them all (Brene Brown said it, I believe it). And when we do that, we get super stingy with our gifts, our humanness and our ability to feel and connect.
For anyone like me trying to hide their true emotions behind that tough gal appearance and fierce independence, here are some tried and true practices to open that lower abdomen, the sacral plexus which allows joy and honor your true feelings:
+ Move your body, get out and dance, yoga or run.
+ Watch a classic romantic comedy and let it all go, I highly recommend any Hugh Grant film, ‘The Family Stone’ or ‘Fried Green Tomatoes’. (Have tissues on hand).
+ Go play – seriously, go outside barefoot and play tag, hike a mountain, lay on a blanket or roll down a hill.
+ Make out with someone you love. How fun is making out?
+ A good ol’ mantra or declaration, such as: “I deserve pleasure and joy now”. On repeat, on a post it note, in meditation. What you focus on truly does expand, I pinky promise.
+ And as a chakra nerd, I highly recommend the Simple Studs, Lemon Chrysoprase to wear your intentions.